Where were you? My experiences on election night/

Where were you?

We all love to ask ourselves that question when a seminal moment comes to mind. However, it seems to always represent some moment of great tragedy; that is until Nov. 4th 2008.

The Doug Fir lounge was packed by sardines by the time Ohio was announced and the election began quickly to resemble a forgone conclusion. All packed together to witness the high water mark we’ve been waiting for. Equal parts pep rally and prom, with concentrated anticipation spread on top.

As 8pm struck the gathered mass counted down the closing of the west coast polls and as the clock struck: 00 so did the election, the long awaited words were on the screen in front of us: “BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES”.

What followed next was quite possibly the most remarkable moment of the evening, silence.
It only lasted a millisecond but it was there. A millisecond where everyone realized the ultimate goal had been achieved, a millisecond where all the sadness of the last 8 years and the potential of the last two collided in our minds like when you combined vinegar and baking soda in science class to create…an eruption.

And that eruption was like few things anyone in that room had experienced before. This gathered mass was resplendent with unmistakable joy. Tears were shed by Man and Woman alike, embraces shared by people who had never met before. It was hard not to imagine some anthemic fanfare in your head, as if you were in the final scene of the feel-good movie of the fall.

The house DJ cranked up “America, F&@K Yeah” from the Team America movie, and while the song is meant to be tongue-in-cheek, it was oddly fitting. Fitting because many of those in attendance were consumed by feelings they hadn’t yet felt in their lifetimes: Pride and Patriotism. Now that’s not to say, regardless of what some may say, that those in that crowed concert hall weren’t patriots before, or didn’t love their country prior to this evening, but finally these long suffering patriots could feel that their country got something right.

No one in that room was making the mistake that everything would be OK when they woke up the next morning, but at least we all could embrace the potential that possibly the most dismal decade in our country’s history could end on an definitive up note.

As the new President-Elect delivered his acceptance speech you could hear a pin drop. And as one of the most significant speeches this country has ever seen reached its close, it was met by yet more tears and again more embracing.

“Fight the Power” the next song in the rotation, seemed to take on a whole new meaning. Public Enemy’s anthem of the plight of African-Americans in this country seemed to change and represent all of us, who stood arm in arm over the last eight years, together in disagreement of the travesties put upon us by this administration. We had fought, and seemingly, we had won.

Not unexpectedly, the party poured into the streets of Portland well into the night, and this united mass was a shining beacon of that one word that had been bandied about so much the last 2 years that it almost became a cliché: Hope.

No one will ever forget where they were that evening, and just over seven years after “Where were you” took on the most negative connotation possible, if for one night only, everything had seemingly come full circle.

MusicFestNW Day3- Discovery and Dissapointment

Day 3 started well enough. Trucked over to the VERY humid Wonder Ballroom for a great set from Boise-born Indie Legends Built To Spill. They were playing thier album Perfect From Now On in it's entirety and it was fantastic.

From there it was up to Towne Lounge where I discovered what could be one of my new favorite bands. Andy Combs and the Moth. A fantastic Tom Waits-esque band with the interesting musical line-up of Guitar, Bass, Drums, Accordian, Trumpet, Xylophone and numerous other Percussion instruments including a JAWBONE OF AN ASS! Seriously, it really is a Jawbone of an Ass, it makes a great crashing sound.

From there came the dissapointing part of the evening. First, we missed out on TV on the Radio due to The Roseland being well past full capacity.

From there we decided to hit up Jimmy Mak's for Velella Velella. Now I had never heard the band but was intrigued because a) they are originally Spokanites like myself and b) Recently scored a record deal with the HUSH label.

What ensued was a horribly jumbled and discombobulated Hipster/Frat Boy attempt and "Indie" dance music that made me sick. And the worst was everyone in the bar seemed to buy into their bullshit. Frustrating.

Today should prove to be more fulfilling. First it's a VIP party at The Fez with my good pals Lincoln's Beard among others. Followed by an Ass Ton of Rockabilly goodness at Slabtown.

MusicFestNW Day2-Free Booze and Fresh Beats

So I marched into Day 2 of fest 2008 by meeting up with pals Rachel, Drew and Brandon at a VIP party outside the Wonder Ballroom.

Nothing like free booze and snacks to properly begin a night. We also took great delight at the R&B hits of the 90's being spun by the House DJ.

From there it was inside the Wonder for Battles, a noiserock band out of New York that I was less than impressed with.

After that we quickly realized we had run into a situation of all the shows we wanted to see overlapping.

First was Singer-Songwriter M. Ward at the Crystal, Ward sounded great but I must admit I was a tad dissapointed it was him by himself and not his fantastic side project with actress Zooey Deschanel.

After a few tunes it was off to The Roseland for the tale end of a set by an up-and-coming Hip-Hop artist BuKu One, followed by a great set by Del The Funky Homosapien.

Tongiht brings many a highlight. Built To Spill and TV on the Radio among others.

Back on the gird- Show Recap and MusicFestNW is underway.

Ok, sorry again about the absence.

Big night last night in ole Stavy land.

First it was the bands big show at Ash Street Saloon.

Dare I say, Troubadour Deluxe was playin thier balls off last night. We had a great set and a good turnout as well.

After that, we moved on to Bebati's Pan where Old 97's were finishing up the first night of MusicFestNW.

Great set from the 97's including a dynamite cover of Mama Tried. Now tonight is out and about again including Love as Laughter, Cool Kids and a late night set by Del The Funky Homosapien.

Full report tomorrow.

OK So I lied

Been real busy this week gettin busy for my Band's show tonight at Ash Street Saloon.

So to tide you over here is the REDBAND TRAILER for the new Kevin Smith flick "Zack and Miri Make a Porno"

Hey Ya'll

So havent posted in a bit. But I promise a full post on Monday. In the meantime. I have started up my Cougar Blog again in time for opening day.

So check in over there and I'll be back in a couple days.

Wow, now I feel much better

So I got canned today, which sucks real bad. But the sting of my newfound unemployment has been salved.

The above video shows Alicia Sacramone (who's two falls last night cost the U.S. Women a gymnastics gold) straight knockin some dude the fuck out!

She does share a last name with the great Johnny Sack, so perhaps it's understandable.

Zombie Prom FTW

So I havent posted for a while, mainly because I was out of town, and running like a chicken with my head cut off after I returned. But what do I greet upon my return. This beautiful Trailer.

It may be straight to dvd, and cheesey as hell, but equally beautiful.

I Give You, DANCE OF THE DEAD!

5 Guys Most Deserving Of A Punch In The Face.

So as some of you may know I am a total nerd for Pro Wrestling, and in the world of Rasslin nothing is more satisfying than seeing that one guy you have been conditioned to hate over the last few weeks and/or months finally get the pleasing ass kicking he's been asking for.

That said, it will always be more fulfilling to see someone you knwo to be an actual douchebag in real life (instead of a charecter) get the popped right in the smush.

That said, I give the 5 guys most deserving of a mouth fulla chiclets!

And if you don't believe me, watch this brilliant Andy Samburg short from SNL:







Now watch it imagining one or all of the following five guys are there instead. (With the exception of Jon Bon Jovi, who totally deserves to be there).






5. Kanye West

This one saddens me a bit, Because when his first couple records came out, they were so fresh and creative, you couldn't help but get excited.

But then came the whiney tantrums after not winning grammy's, the AIDS/Racism conspricy theory in "Jesus Walks" that nobody wanted to recognize as completely insane, His pointless stage show that put him on three hours late at this year's Bonnaroo Festival (getting him booed and trashed throughout the rest of the weekend.)

Quite possibly his most punchable moment was the infamous rant at the Hurricane Katrina benefit.

Sure, everyone remembers the "George Bush Doesn't Care" quote, but watch the diatribe leading up to it and you'll see what I mean.




4. Chris Berman

What boy didn't love this guy as a kid? What guy didn't grow out of his bullshit by age 15? Well there you have it.

With his "back, back, back, back", his stupid ass nicknames, his ham-handed gravitas anytime something vaugely tragic happens (making the VT shootings his #1 play of the week was the last straw). What a beating this guy deserves.


The only solace is taken in the following clip: A) is proves he's an asshole off camera too and b) it probably humiliated the shit out of him.








3. Gene Simmons

Look I like KISS as much as the next guy, but you shouldn't have ever opened your mouth dude.

Nowadays, Gene is more known for putting the KISS name on any shitty product that will holding, starring on an absolutely atrocious reality show, being a holier than thou prick, tagging on bands like Radiohead because they "don't put on enough of a show live", and finally making the single worst celebrity sex tape this side of Fred "pencil-dick" Durst.





And if that wasnt enough, check out this great cover of "Firestarter".







2. Donald Trump



Wow. Narrowing down the reasons it would be nice to see this ass get slapped around is like asking a parent to pick a favorite kid.



However, how about every word that ever come out of his mouth for starters.



How about the fact that he continues to be the embodiment of the evil that is greed?



Or, for my old school sports fans, the fact that his bullshit single handedly killed the USFL?



How about that he's just a complete asshole?



Not enough? I give you exhibit A: and Look, I don't like Rosie O'Donnell anymore than the next guy, but Trumps just a horses-ass.









1. Spencer Pratt

Seriously, just look at this douchebag. Nuff Said.

I could give plenty of evidence but this clip pretty much sums it up.

Warning: From The Desk Of Stavros is not responsible for broken hands and/or computer screens due to you becoming so enraged you try to actually punch fancy-pants through the screen.

And the Coup de Grace

And Another

I've Been Busy

My Apologies to the five or so folks who actually read my blog. But I figured I would the three episodes I've done for my webshow thus far so you can see them.

I plan to get better with the hole posting thing.

Have a great weekend

The Most Awkward Video Ever

The Webshow Formerly Known as

My webshow is now known as The Pulse and episode two is up and running.

Check it out right chere

or Here

in this episode we take in the sights and sounds of Pride Parade 2008

Enjoy and tell your friends!

Quite Possibly The Greatest Sports Call Ever!

Leave it to the Brits. Adrian Headley is the man.

In case you were wondering, Beckham is Good at Soccer

Okay, so occasionally I am an asshole

So passing a co-worker in the hall today I unfortunately put my foot very deep into my cavernous mouth.

Now said co-worker is a friend, a friend I have no problem joking around with but that backfired a tad.

Passing her in the hall she was running her finger at the bottom of her nose in an attempt to scratch an itch I presume. So I figured it was perfect time to kid with her a bit.

Her is the conversation verbatim:

Matt: "What's up, you blowing rails in the back office?"

Co-Worker: "Huh?"

Matt: "Blowin Rails!"

Co-Worker: "Oh you mean Cocaine"

Matt: "Yeah, I was kidding you because you were scratching your nose"

Co-Worker: (Now laughing with a huge smile) "Heres a tidbit for you, on July 7th I will be 18 years clean and sober." (Holds hand up for a high-five)

Matt: "I am so sorry"


Yep, I'm that asshole. I made the coke joke to a recovering addict.

Granted she laughed and seemed even happy to tell me she was getting ready to celebrate a milestone. But still...

My own ability to be that guy is really mind boggling sometimes.

The actual Griffey Home Run

Griffey
Video sent by bsap11

I can't say enough about how much Griff deserves every accolade anyone ever wants to give him.

A true champ, it's just too bad bad he'll probably retire without a ring

Album Review: Aimee Mann

AIMEE MANN- @#%&*! SMILERS

Can you make a pop album and jab at pop culture at the same time? The answer is yes if you in turn prove that pop music can have more lyrical substance than what listeners are used to hearing… enter Aimee Mann.

Mann’s new album Smilers takes its title from the derogatory term Mann uses to describe the “Shiny happy pop-culture that surrounds us”.

Mann’s 7^th studio record opens with the single “Freeway” a song of new beginnings that a brings a full synth-pop sound. In fact the word full is a good way to describe the record as a whole. The album is considerably more musical than Mann’s previous work, with her signature dark yet strong lyricism still holding down the fort.

“Pheonix” is a lament of a relationship gone sour, while “Looking for Nothing” is a story of wondering when holding on becomes holding on too long.

On “31 Today” Mann sings "Drinking Guinness in the afternoon/taking shelter in the black cocoon/I thought my life would be different somehow/I thought my life would be better by now," a statement on the anxiety of getting older and the insecurity of wondering if you’ve accomplished enough yet.

In the end, Mann brings a knowing voice to all over those “Smiley People” even if they do get on her nerves.

MY GRADE- B+

Atta Boy Griff!

Ken Griffey Jr. finally hit number 600 hundred today (Interestingly enough, for me anyway, against former Washington State Cougar Mark Hendrikson).

It really warmed my heart to see Junior get the mark but still bothered me a little because if he hadn't lost so much time to injury we would very likely be talking about him right now instead of that Bonds guy. AND WE WOULDN'T NEED AN ASTERISK!

On my way to becoming a Viral Video ICON!

Ok maybe not an Icon as much as a dude who has a webshow, but we are really just splitting hairs now.

Episode one of my new Webshow KINK ON THE STREETS is up over at KINK.fm.

I may eventually post it in it's entirety on here, but for now I need the hits to register on the KINK site.

That said, Here is the link:
KINK ON THE STREETS

Enjoy and tell your friends!

Oh My Sweet Heavenly Lord- Gonzo Traliler!

As some of you know about me, I am a nut for Documentaries and I worship Hunter Thompson.

So this trailer has me just a tad excited.

New Kevin Smith Teaser (NSFW)

Jesus todays like X-mas in late May.

First the awesome looking Coen brother trailer and now this teaser for the new Kevin Smith flick "Zack and Miri Make A Porno"

I am geeking out at an unhealthy rate.

RIP Harvey Korman 1927 - 2008

We lost one of the funniest guys ever yesterday.

And "Blazing Saddles" is one of the funniest movies ever made.

Everybody have a drink for Harvey tonight

New Coen Brother's Red Band Trailer- Burn After Reading

I think I just completed in my pants!

This movie looks absolutely fantastic. Granted, my undying love for the Coen's may have something to do with my huge nerd boner right now.

Album Review: Jason Mraz

Jason Mraz- We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things

The sketch of Jason Mraz on the cover of the album We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things is a proper metaphor for the music inside.

Gone is the askew trucker’s cap that had become a bit of a trademark, replaced now by a Sinatra style fedora. The image speaks to the general maturity shown in the music and songwriting on the album.

The sleek soul sound of the opening track “Make it Mine” makes the listener quickly realize they are about to get some different things from Mr. A-Z.

There have always been a myriad of genres blended together in Mraz’s music, but those different styles are much more definitive now. The single “I’m Yours” is most definitely a Reggae song while “The Dynamo of Volition” taps into the hip-hop world rather specifically.

We Sing… is also highlighted by a couple guest spots, Colbie Caillat on the cutesy “Lucky” and James Morrison on the poignant “Details in the Fabric”.

All in all, the record shows a great step forward for Mraz as a songwriter and an artist

MY GRADE: B

Album Review: Duffy

Duffy- Rockferry

Trends and comparisons are dangerous monsters in the music business, and Duffy is either a victim or a product of both on her debut Rockferry.

Almost immediately after hitting the scene the Welsh singer was being hailed by the British press as one of the “New Amys” drawing comparisons to troubled retro-popster Amy Winehouse.

That comparison is unfair in many ways but a couple stand out.

First, Duffy’s voice is considerably stronger than that of Winehouse, but there is also considerably less attitude.

Rockferry starts out with the title track, a wall of sound ballad that evokes the great Female Brit singers of the mid-sixties; the problem is that the power of the opening song doesn’t continue.

The album continues with a number of sweet and subtle ballads that are good, but not unlike anything you’ve heard before, and by the time you get to “Mercy” (the current single and the albums only up-tempo track) it almost sounds out of place.

The album finishes up with “Distant Dreamer” another throwback with a big big sound that ends the album on a full and beautiful note.

I can’t decide if all these comparisons are good or bad thing for artists and/or listeners (I’m leaning toward bad), but if I must compare then I will say this.

The retro sound is there, the vocal power is most certainly there, the attitude just isn’t.

MY GRADE: C+

Concert Review: deSol

You have to respect any hard-working road band, but more respect altogether goes to a road band that never seems to stop having fun at the same time.

deSol is most certainly one of those bands.

The New Jersey band Latin rockers have barely left the road since they were last in Portland for KINK Live Ten way back in September, but the word tired just doesn’t seem to be in their vocabulary.

The band seemed a little out of place on the Dante’s stage, sandwiched between two harder rock bands, but they certainly had the sparse attendance on their feet early and often during a solid 45 minute set.

It seemed like most of the few in attendance were there to see them, and even those who weren’t could help but clap along during the latest single “On My Way”.

The gang of 6, including a couple new members since we saw them last, were all smiles from start to finish and, as always, brought the party atmosphere they are known for.

And with that they were off, into the night on what seems like a never ending ride.

YEEEEEESSS!!!!

Yes folks it the trailer for Choke, the latest Chuck Pahliniuk based movie.

The anticipation is killing me.

Unfortunately it doesn't come out until late September.

Concert Review: Modest Mouse

“It is not Fucking Summer Time Yet”

This joking statement by Modest Mouse front-man Isaac Brock pierced through the cold Bend air as the band took the stage of the Les Schwab Amphitheater. A bit of a sly joke at the idea of having an outdoor concert so early in the season.

However, with the first notes of the band’s opener, the banjo-laden folk-stomper “Satin in a Coffin”, the temperature quickly began to rise.

The large gathering quickly learned a small science lesson, is hard to stay cold when you can’t stand still.

This show was a bit of redemption for me, as I foolishly didn’t go to a show they played at the Washington State Student Union in Pullman when I was in college nearly 10 years ago. (A decision I still regret). But what made the evening even more fulfilling was the wide scope of the selected set-list.

The band played an equal selection of their more recent tunes that gained them international fame as well as older tracks to keep more seasoned MM supporters satisfied.

One criticism of the band over the last few years is that with more recent and more “radio-friendly” tracks like “Dashboard” the band had sold-out. I would say that those nay-sayers were not listening close enough, or just haven’t seen them live lately. The bands catalogue is seamless when spread out on a wider canvas.

Older tracks like “Doin the Cockroach” blend together so well with newer faire like the mega-hit “Float On” they may as well have been on the same album.

The three song encore was a testament to the band’s more recent success featuring “Bury Me With it” (from 2004’s Good News for People Who Love Bad News) and new single “Fly Trapped in a Jar” before closing it down with the B-Side “King Rat”.

With that the Memorial weekend in Bend was finished. Even though it might not be summer yet. The summer concert season has kicked off in grand fashion.

The Japanese are Crazy yet Hilarious

I think my soul hurts a little after watching this.

In case you were wondering, I am fairly sure the Cindy Lauper wasn't an impersonater but the real deal.

Good to see she's gettin a paycheck.

A Proud Moment For All Spokanites

My hometown Spokane Chiefs won the Memorial Cup over the weekend.

The Memorial Cup is the biggest prize you can win in Junior Hockey and it is thier second one they have earned.

How did they celebrate? By smashing the thing and getting booed off the ice!

Rabble Rabble Spokane Represent!

Fergie is a Dumb Untalented Whore

Seriously, why do people still entertain the notion that this moron has any talent whatsoever.

By the way the horrified looks of the children as she rolls around on the stage are just priceless.

Way to feign oral sex and shake your ass in front of toddlers you absolute waste of space.

Italian Announcer Goes ApeShit!

Milan 2-1 Inter commentaire Italien
Video sent by t_m

Watch this guy lose it as Inter Milan beat hated rival AC Milan.

This is absolutely fantastic.

The Monday Rant: A View To A Shill

There was an episode of the great Aaron Sorkin show SportsNight that really stuck with me.

The fictional and titular sports show was given the opportunity to interview Michael Jordan, only to later find out he will not be talking basketball, but rather his new cologne, and nothing else.

The SportsNight crew comes to their senses by the end of the episode and turns down the supposed pimpfest.

Unfortunately no such integrity exists in today’s media.

Now don’t get me wrong, I understand that in today’s radio and/or TV world no one is going to call or come on your local station for an interview unless they are promoting something, I have come to terms with that, and don't really mind.

It’s when they are using their name to pimp something completely unrelated to them that really burns my hide.

This brings me to my new biggest pet peeve in the world of radio:

THE POLITI-SHILL!

For the past few months, basically ever since Oregon’s Presidential Primary looked like it would actually matter, we have been inundated with offers of interviews with big name stars, the only catch being their purpose is not to talk about their new movie, TV show, album or what not, but rather to talk up their candidate of choice.

So basically, if you’re scoring at home, they are using their name to score a free political ad for their fav candidate.

This comes off as unbelievably fraudulent to me, but everyone else seems to drink the kool-aid.

I won’t name the names of said celebrities, but there have even been a couple offered to me, folks I am a big fan of, that I couldn’t bring myself to be privy to.

The worst by far was the one we had today.

Unnamed popular actress from unnamed popular TV show called in to show her support for Hillary Clinton.

She rattled off her bullet points for a few minutes and when our afternoon host tried to reel her in at the end and asked about the upcoming season finale of said show her answer was:

“Yep, it’s Thursday night”

Wow, how profound.

Not surprisingly, we have received no such offers from the McCain campaign, but that is most likely for three reasons: a) He already has his nomination sewed up, b) our particular listenership is particularly left-leaning and c) most of the celebrities that would support McCain are already dead (Sorry couldn’t help myself).

Now, the candidates aren’t the only folks guilty of this. For instance, sports radio is damn near unlistenable during Super Bowl week from all the pimping going down on press row.

But for some reason, it seems all the dirtier when it involves decisions that will greatly affect our nation’s future.

All I can say is thank god the primary is tomorrow and some of the whoring will ease back a little.

Now celebrities can go back to shamelessly plugging things they…you know…actually had a hand in creating!

The Great Condom Connundrum

I came across an interesting bit of news today and it got me to thinking.

A football player at Purdue has been suspended indefinitely after getting busted for shoplifting, now I know that bit of news in itself is not out of the ordinary, however we was busted for stealing…

A BOX OF CONDOMS!

HA HA HA HA HA HA

That makes the story instantly hilarious, perhaps the lad was so nervous at purchasing said box of jimmy’s that we opted to try and pilfer them instead.

I got me to thinking about the concept of getting nervous when laying down some green for the box of rubbers.

I will admit that at times in my life, the act of shopping for prophylactics was a nerve racking experience.

In fact, the first time I ever bought condoms, I grabbed them and tried to leave so fast that I forgot got my change. This of course caused the nice clerk to call after me, completely destroying my supposed subterfuge.

That said, it didn’t take long to come to terms with the act, and there were two major points of realization that helped the process. (Both would be great advice for the downtrodden young man at Purdue):

1. 1. THEY KEEP YOU FROM GETTING THE GIRL PREGNANT (MOST OF THE TIME):

When I was in college the student health department would give out free condoms. It was truly fantastic, they would have a grand selection of any kind of condom you wanted, in little zip-loc bags for the choosing.

One day I was at said health department picking up a little bag o magic when the woman behind the counter said to me and my two friends: “As a mother of a teenage daughter I really am thankful to see you boys using protection.”

It was such a brilliant statement that I never forgot it, and really drove home point one home, especially since it could have been me nailing her teenage daughter (THESE ARE JOKES FOLKS, JUUUUUST JOKES).

But seriously folks, I am not sure at this point if I am ever going to be a father. I don’t even have a pet for fear I would feed it beer and teach it to smoke for my own enjoyment, so I don’t need a little doppelganger running around anytime soon.

2. 2. IT’S PROOF YOU ARE GETTING LAID!

This concept is better driven home when your checker du jour is a man, but I guess it works when it’s a woman helping you out too. (Granted I find myself timing the women I buy them from just to see how fast they shove said raincoats into a bag.)

My best experience with this was a few months back.

A girl I was seeing was coming over for dinner that evening so I hit the grocery store to get fixins, including a box of love just in case…ya know…shit got smooooth.

Anywho, later on, said girl and I realized we had forgotten something and returned to the same store.

When we grabbed what we needed and turned for the checkout I saw that the same checker-dude was still at his post. I couldn’t help myself.

There was a look of approval and we again went through his line that I’m sure only Men can share. (Yeah I know I’m a pig, sue me)

Once I matured and came to these terms it opened up a whole new world for me. Now buying condoms has become a fantastic sociological experiment.

Like the aforementioned bag race, I love watching and gauging the reactions of the store clerks when I come through the line.

It’s possibly one of the more fun things you can do at a store.

Hell I go buy them when I don’t even need them because it’s fun to indirectly screw with people.

(Who am I kidding? I never DON’T NEED THEM! Ooowwww….right?...right?...ok I’m just pathetic)

So where am I going with all of this?

Let us not look down upon this unfortunate young man; his heart was in the right place. It’s just that the execution was waaaaay off.

Man up son! Thrown those little helpers down on the counter and pull your wallet out like a man, give that knowing glance to the clerk and walk out with pride.

It’s better than needing to come back for pampers, or god forbid, topical cremes from the pharmacy!

And in this guys case, it's a helluva lot better than jail, suspension and nationwide humiliation!

Todd Snider- America's Favorite Pastime

I have told some of you about this song.

It's one of the greatest stories ever. The story of Doc Ellis throwing a no-hitter on LSD.

One of my all-time favorite songwriters, Todd Snider, wrote about it and here is the song.

As far as I know this is the only recording of the song just yet, he's playing it for famed producer Don Was in a hotel room.

My Conversation with Harland Williams

Paula Abdul is confused! HA HA HA HA

Seriously, Randy even tried to save her ass to no avail.

Watching her is like the first two weeks of the show with all the shitty singers never ended.

Paula was later asked for a comment, to which she responded.

"Brrrrr uh dabble wabble cheese doodle frog!"

Today in History (VERY NSFW)

WARNING EXTREMELY NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!!

WARNING EXTREMELY HILARIOUS!!!!!

25 Years ago today,April 29, 1983, Cubs ManagerLee Elia lashed out at Cubs fans for their fair weather support of the team. (Their consistent booing and heckling at Wrigley completely unnerved Elia.) A member of the press secretly recorded this "off-the-record" session with reporters.

This is quite possibly the greatest Manager Tirade in Baseball history.

Concert Review: The Swell Season

There are moments where music leaves you completely speechless; there are moments where inspiration, creativity and all out beauty combine in a way that make you feel like your heart might explode.

I am not exaggerating when I say that to see The Swell Season is to have one of those moments.

That was at least the case last night at Keller Auditorium.

Glen Hansard took the stage alone and opened the set with the heart wrenching “Say It Too Me Now”, bellowing with the same intensity he showed singing the song on a street corner in “Once”.

With that the rest of the band took the stage, which included the amazing Markéta Irglová and the rest of The Frames (sans drummer).

The lineup is fitting because the majority of The Swell Season’s songs are reworked Frames tunes, but even for someone like me who is familiar with The Frames, the songs still take on immediate new life.

The group was joined at times by the two traditional Irish folksters who opened the show (who Hansard later revealed were old street busker friends of his from Dublin) bolstering the band to 7 pieces.

The night also featured brand new material from both Glen and Markéta peppered throughout the evening, fitting in perfectly alongside Soundtrack standouts like “Lies”, “When Your Minds Made Up”, and the Oscar-winning hit “Falling Slowly”.

The absolute moment of the night, and possibly one of the greater concert moments I have seen, came when Hansard told a story of a pre-gig walk through Portland and a meeting with a particularly inspiring music fan named Joseph.

Hansard then shocked the entire room, but Joseph most of all, by inviting the youngster to the stage to sing along side them.

Joseph picked “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)” by Looking Glass, (which was impressive, because put in the same situation I have my doubts I could have thought of anything) which Hansard and the aforementioned busker pals obviously didn’t know, but as the song went on the consummate musicians picked out the tune and were joined by the rest of the players to created a 7 piece backing band for the visibly shocked and nervous new man of the hour.

After gaining a standing ovation and taking a bow, Joseph left the stage with the greatest story he’ll ever be able to tell.

Following that, the band played a cover of Van Morrison’s “Into the Mystic” which (huge apologies to all Van Fans) may be the definitive take on the song.

After the break the night finished up with the two Frames classics. The amazingly inspirational “Fitzcarraldo” and the gorgeous “Star Star”.

And with that band left the stage, and left all in attendance with the warmed hearts that come from seeing a truly magical evening of music.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

As you may or may not know, I have a deep seeded hatred for "Pop Country" so nothing makes me happier then to see Douche du jour (I've met the prick and he is) Kenny Chesney hurt his foot by getting it stuck in the fancy lift device at his show in South Carolina last weekend.

Listen close at the end for the moron who states the complete obvious!

Concert Review: Mike Doughty

I Figure I'll start this bad boy off with a concert review (there will be many of them on this site).

As is usually the case with me, because I am a huge music geek, my excitement level was high heading into Mike Doughty's show.

Having been a fan of Mike's work, both solo and with Soul Coughing, I was chomping at the bit to get into the show.

The evening started with an "opening band" that was nameless and at first glance pointless. Taking the stage in hunter's caps and fake beards, they basically played disjointed sections of music and unintelligibly howled over the top of it all. As they continued some members of the gathered masses actually began to cheer this group on, which confused me even further.

That is until I realized that the "lead man" of the band, who kept his back turned the entire time, shared body characteristics with Mike Doughty himself. It was then I realized it was all a big work, a big goof that I was now the butt of… brilliant.

Next came The Panderers, a three piece from Indiana that are new signees to Doughty's label (Snack Bar). They were fantastic and had the Wonder Ballroom in the palm of their hands.

Finally the time came for the man of the hour, taking the stage with a crack band that shares Panderers members Pete McNeal (drums) and "Scrap" Livingston (Bass), as well as John Kirby (Electric Piano).

It is always fun to see and act with such a devoted fan base like Doughty's, because there is very much a family atmosphere at the show.

Mike and the band obviously love to play and let it show, peppering the set with songs from all of his solo work. Crowd pleasers included fantastic takes on "Tremendous Brunettes" and "I Hear the Bells" from 2005's Haughty Melodic. After deflecting numerous Soul Coughing cover requests, Doughty did placate the loving room with "Circles".

Tracks of the new, and beautiful, Golden Delicious were on display as well, including "Fort Hood" (which lifts directly from "Let the Sun Shine in" from the musical Hair and brought with it a rousing sing-along) and the sample-ridden, Soul Coughing-esque "More Bacon Than The Pan Can Handle".

As the opening "opening band" dictated, the night was tongue in cheek throughout. Right up to the point where Doughty and Band announced the "Fake Last Song", a cover of Kenny Rogers' "The Gambler" before turning their backs to the audience for a minute rather than taking a traditional encore break.

The "encore" consisted of favorites "27 Jennifers" and "Looking at the World from the Bottom of a Well", wrapping up another excuse to call Doughty a great showman as well as storyteller.