From The Desk of Stavros: July 2008

So as some of you may know I am a total nerd for Pro Wrestling, and in the world of Rasslin nothing is more satisfying than seeing that one guy you have been conditioned to hate over the last few weeks and/or months finally get the pleasing ass kicking he's been asking for.

That said, it will always be more fulfilling to see someone you knwo to be an actual douchebag in real life (instead of a charecter) get the popped right in the smush.

That said, I give the 5 guys most deserving of a mouth fulla chiclets!

And if you don't believe me, watch this brilliant Andy Samburg short from SNL:

Now watch it imagining one or all of the following five guys are there instead. (With the exception of Jon Bon Jovi, who totally deserves to be there).

5. Kanye West

This one saddens me a bit, Because when his first couple records came out, they were so fresh and creative, you couldn't help but get excited.

But then came the whiney tantrums after not winning grammy's, the AIDS/Racism conspricy theory in "Jesus Walks" that nobody wanted to recognize as completely insane, His pointless stage show that put him on three hours late at this year's Bonnaroo Festival (getting him booed and trashed throughout the rest of the weekend.)

Quite possibly his most punchable moment was the infamous rant at the Hurricane Katrina benefit.

Sure, everyone remembers the "George Bush Doesn't Care" quote, but watch the diatribe leading up to it and you'll see what I mean.

4. Chris Berman

What boy didn't love this guy as a kid? What guy didn't grow out of his bullshit by age 15? Well there you have it.

With his "back, back, back, back", his stupid ass nicknames, his ham-handed gravitas anytime something vaugely tragic happens (making the VT shootings his #1 play of the week was the last straw). What a beating this guy deserves.

The only solace is taken in the following clip: A) is proves he's an asshole off camera too and b) it probably humiliated the shit out of him.

3. Gene Simmons

Look I like KISS as much as the next guy, but you shouldn't have ever opened your mouth dude.

Nowadays, Gene is more known for putting the KISS name on any shitty product that will holding, starring on an absolutely atrocious reality show, being a holier than thou prick, tagging on bands like Radiohead because they "don't put on enough of a show live", and finally making the single worst celebrity sex tape this side of Fred "pencil-dick" Durst.

And if that wasnt enough, check out this great cover of "Firestarter".

2. Donald Trump

Wow. Narrowing down the reasons it would be nice to see this ass get slapped around is like asking a parent to pick a favorite kid.

However, how about every word that ever come out of his mouth for starters.

How about the fact that he continues to be the embodiment of the evil that is greed?

Or, for my old school sports fans, the fact that his bullshit single handedly killed the USFL?

How about that he's just a complete asshole?

Not enough? I give you exhibit A: and Look, I don't like Rosie O'Donnell anymore than the next guy, but Trumps just a horses-ass.

1. Spencer Pratt

Seriously, just look at this douchebag. Nuff Said.

I could give plenty of evidence but this clip pretty much sums it up.

Warning: From The Desk Of Stavros is not responsible for broken hands and/or computer screens due to you becoming so enraged you try to actually punch fancy-pants through the screen.